The New Postal Worker

Problem: If you’ve been reading my blogs, you might have noticed that I’ve been having trouble getting along with people, lately. It’s true; I admit it. And it is a problem; people are normally better to deal with than machines. I’ve always complained that my life is ruled by machines. This is what I was thinking as drove to the Post Office Saturday morning. I went very early so I wouldn’t have to deal with any people, but then I remembered my many bouts with the Post Office vending machines, which if they weren’t completely empty, were at least out of the stamps I needed.

Anyhow, my mom, bless her heart, had handed me a small package to mail. She had said 2 stamps should be enough. As I briefly hefted the package I told myself that there’s no way the USPS is going to take this anywhere for $.74. (Mom still remembers penny post cards). So, I was on my way to the Post Office scales and vending machines to overpay for another package, as always.

Solution: I walked into the Post Office and right before me stood the New Postal Worker. My first thought was, Oh, damn, here we go again. But much to my surprise and delight, here’s how the dialog went:

New Postal Worker: How may I help you? Information? Stamps? Sending a package?
me: Sending a package.
NPW: What’s the Zip Code of the address on the package?
me: 07101
NPW: Place the package on the scale to your left.
me: I did.
NPW: Your package weighs 1 lb, 4.30 oz. It will cost you $1.35 to send it to Newark, NJ by Tuesday. If this is not okay, there are other choices with different prices and delivery dates. Do you want the $1.35 option?
me: Yes.
NPW: Would you like to purchase postage for the $1.35 option?
me: No.
NPW: If your package has some postage but not enough would you like to purchase the balance?
me: Yes.
NPW: How much postage do you already have?
me: $.74.
NPW: (The display showed a 3” x5” label with postage printed on it and asked), Will this label fit on your package without covering the address and return information?
me: No.
NPW: Okay, I’ll give you a normal size stamp, okay?
me: Yes.
NPW: How would like to pay for this, Debit or Credit?
me: Credit.
NPW: Please swipe your card in the reader to your right.
me: I did. A few seconds later a self adhesive stamp for $.61 appeared from a dispenser in front of me.

As I stood dumbfounded…….

NPW: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
me: (hmmmm) ……. How much do you charge to change a light bulb?
NPW: Sorry, sir. I’m here 24 hours a day. I really don’t have time to change a light bulb.
me: Figures.

So, whatever; I don’t expect things to get any better with people, but the prospects for machines are looking up.