Not So DynamicHCP

Note to self: Try to be a better person. Don't only blog when you're pissed; people will stop listening to you (Yeah, like they do anyway!). I'll blog whenever I please, thank you.....

Problem: During your career your boss will occasionally give you something to do that you don't understand. Not usually a problem. Good soldiers follow the marching orders, whatever they might be. If she wants this or that done, what the hell, I'll do it. After all, she IS the boss. However, some of these things are very cumbersome, time consuming or border on the rediculous. That's when you begin to question them. The "problem" I'm going to discuss was not initiated by my boss this time; she's a victum of this one, too. It's out of our control. The PROBLEM is that we're stuck doing something that no one can explain! Here it is: We, like everyone else, have a limited number of IP addresses to go around. We still have a lot of static addresses defined and we realize that they are not all in use at the same time. So, the thing to do is start using DHCP so we can make the best use of a scarce resource. Fine. However, our Networking Group, the owners of all our IP addresses, has decided to issue only dedicated addresses through DHCP. That's right, back to static addresses by another name. So much for saving addresses. Then to top it off, we have this really nice process to assign one of these dedicated addresses. Like this: To get a machine on the network, we have to send a note to the Networking Group requesting an IP address to be issued for a specific MAC address, stating the location of the machine and the person responsible for the machine. We get an automated email thanking us for the request. Then we wait. Hours later we get a note back from a real person (I think), containing the address that we can use. Then we hard code the address in the machine long enough to logon to the network and "register" the address for the MAC address we requested. Then we un-code the address and release it. Now we wait again. After a minimum of 10 minutes we start the process of 'IPCONFIG /release', 'IPCONFIG /renew', 'IPCONFIG /release', 'IPCONFIG /renew', 'IPCONFIG /release', 'IPCONFIG /renew', ......... until finally the registration process issues this now-dedicated address back to the machine. Sound like fun?? Remember it's not nice to laugh at someone else's misery. I think I heard that somewhere.

Anyhow, I approached my boss today and said....
Me: "Look, I don't mind doing things that are really stupid as long as someone can give me a very good reason."
Boss: "I know what you mean; it's driving me nuts, too."
Me: "Do we really have to do this?"
Boss: "Yes."
Me: "Is there a reason?"
Boss: "Yes."
Me: "Well ....., what is it?"
Boss: "Well, the reason isn't very clear."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Boss: "Well, no one in Networking can explain it very well, but they say it's very important. And they're the ones who issue the addresses, ......so...."
Me: "Help me out here. This is driving me crazy. I'm ready to shoot myself. Please...."
Boss: "What do you want me to do?"
Me: "Give me something. Lie to me if you have to."
Boss: "Okay. They've found that managing the network this way is a cure for cancer of the spleen."
Me: "......................................................................."
Me: "Well, why didn't they say so?"

Solution: All you have to do is ask the right question, I guess. Seriously, I can't think of any reason for doing this. If anyone knows a better reason than the cancer thing, please let me know and I'll put your solution here. Until then I'll have to stay away from fire arms.