Time Marches On ......

Problem: I have a friend who just turned 60. I'll call him Jonald so as not to reveal his name.. :o)
Jonald used to live right next door, so I saw him almost every day for 15 years, or so. Now I hardy ever see him; he's always on the go. But, I get these odd phone calls every now and then saying things like, "Hey Ron, I need to park in your driveway for a couple of hours". The car will magically appear and be there for awhile. Then I'll get another call, "Hey Ron, I picked up the car, just to let you know it was me who took it, so you won't report it stolen", (heh, heh, as if I was really watching it). Anyhow, he's like a phantom; I never see Jonald. It's tough and unsettling. I don't know if I miss him or if I'm just going through some weird withdrawal. But all this is beside the point. The PROBLEM is, this 60 thing. It's got to be driving him nuts! Everybody hates aging, but for someone like Jonald who is so incredibly busy, time must be flying. He's running as fast as he can but he never seems to catch up. He's gotta wonder where the time is going. I can't help him with the aging process. All I can hope to do is try and cheer him up.....

Solution: 10 things to help cheer up poor OLD Jonald:

1. Just because you're 60 now doesn't mean the chicks will lose interest. You see, they were never really interested in your looks. It was always the money.
2. You're one of the few people I know that can actually still blow your own horn and get applause.
3. Same goes for the singing. Most of us sound like wounded mammoths when we try to sing. Not you. You still sound almost good.
4. Your new neighbors get to enjoy the singing and playing at all hours of the day (and night), that we no longer get to hear. This one actually benefits them, but it must be very gratifying for you, too.
5. You have the most wonderful kids that I have ever known. What a blessing, but I've always wondered how they got so smart. Oh well, they say it takes 2 to tango.
6. I understand that the Chrysler Executive Lease Program has been extended to allow you 23 new cars per year, up from the 16 that you've been accustomed to.
7. Smyrna has been taken off the list of Delaware land designated as Flood Plain. So, if the creeks don't rise, it really might not be a bad place to retire.
8. You're a full 10 years older than you need to be to get Senior Rates at all the Comfort Inns - Worldwide!! Think of the travel opportunities! Be careful though, the same is not true for Motel 6. You'll have to wait 5 more years for that.
9. At your advanced age you have only slightly less hair than me! I hate to mention this, but I'm 6 months older. Sorry.
10. You still have us, your ex-neighbors right up the road, in case you need anything. As soon as you let us know exactly where you live we'll know where to send the Meals on Wheels people.

Now that's sure to cheer him up...........